Let me just go ahead and state the reason for my aloofness lately:
I AM PREGNANT.
And I have been an ocean of endless extreme emotions lately. As I keep saying, the problem with me is that I can’t focus enough to blog when my life is in shambles. Also, there is this rule about not announcing pregnancy before the first 12 weeks are over, so I couldn’t really say anything. (Also, we had to break the news to Ella, family, close friends and COME TO TERMS WITH IT OURSELVES)
Let me quickly run you through the gamut of emotions that this news triggered from the instant it was confirmed that I am indeed, with child:
- DENIAL. I do believe that I muttered the words get the fuck outta here when I opened the pregnancy test envelope and read the word POSITIVE written in big, fat, bold letters.
- SHOCK. Yes, I know how The Sex works, but I was convinced that at the advanced age of 31 odd years, my ovaries would be slow on the sperm uptake this time around. SHOCK ON ME.
- FEAR. Y’all remember the trauma that I went through with Ella the Horrendous Newborn? You don’t? WELL, I DO. Am I ready to deal with a screaming newborn and go without sleep for 10 months straight? AM I?
- DELIRIUM. I walked out of that clinic and went straight into a nail salon. I still have no idea why I did got my nails done that day. They were in immaculate condition at the time. But I had them done anyway, because, delirium.
- JOY/ACCEPTANCE. Then it finally hit me that babies are a blessing. Even the ones gifted to divorced, now dating again, single moms. There was a time in my life when I thought I would never get the chance to do this thing again. Heck, I’m lucky to get another go at this thing!
So? Here we go, people! I am 4 months along and counting.
I have so much to tell you about how oral sex when you’re pregnant is LIT enough to keep me having babies forever and how there was a day I ate nothing but biscuits and pineapple jam and how nowadays I burst into tears randomly but I’ll let you digest this bit for now. We’ll take it one day at a time!