Ella had her last day of the school term yesterday. She was super excited because on the last day of school, the kids get to dress up in “home clothes” and have class parties. As usual, Ella opted to dress up like a pink fairy flare-up: pink dress, pink tights, pink hair beads, pink jacket and pink ballet flats. (I have never met a human being that loves the color pink as much as Ella does. She even asked to dye her hair pink once)
As we were picking what she would wear for the last day of school, she excitedly told me that she couldn’t wait to give the “baby in mommy’s stomach” all of the (very pink) dresses that she had outgrown.
Yes, Ella has convinced herself that this baby is a girl. When I asked her how she would feel if it turned out to be a boy she said, “Well, I hope it’s a girl. And if it’s a boy then I hope it’s cute”.
Message received, Ella – one girl OR if worst comes to worst, a consolation cute boy coming right up!
The truth is, I’m beginning to get emotional about Ella no longer being my only child. Writing this post alone is making my eyes well up with tears (damn these pregnancy hormones!).
Recently I’ve been feeling the need to tell Ella how much I love her. I sometimes burst into long monologues telling her how she will always be special to me no matter what (!) and I usually ramble on endlessly until she finally asks me to quiet down so she can watch Doc McStuffins in peace.
On her part, Ella is VERY excited about becoming a big sister. She just can’t wait to “help mommy take care of the new baby”. And I’m excited for her too, but I’m also worried about this drastic change in our tiny family unit.
Some days I wonder if I have enough room in my heart to love another child in the same way that I love Ella. My heart is already bursting with love for this sweet, brave, dramatic little girl of mine. This only child of mine. What will happen when her sibling comes along? Will I love Ella less? Will my already-full heart burst? WILL I NEED ANOTHER HEART?
I honestly don’t know. What I do know, is that Ella will make a GREAT big sister because that’s just the kind of kid Ella is – loving, compassionate and thoughtful. She’ll be bossy and demanding with her sibling (this is Ella we’re talking about after all!), but she’ll also be that fun and kindhearted big sister that will teach you everything she knows, even if it gets you both in trouble.
I know that she’s ready for this brave new adventure, I just hope I am too.