When you imagine yourself pregnant, you usually envision a sunny, glowing version of yourself. You imagine yourself sporting a big, beautiful, round belly that protrudes out of your otherwise unchanged figure. You just can’t wait to be the cute little pregnant woman you were destined to be!
And then you get pregnant. And quickly realize how foolish you were.
To start with, the only glow you will have will be a direct result of your overheating, sweaty and hormonal pregnant body. Then, for the first 4 months or so, you will not look obviously pregnant. A more accurate description would be bloated or overfed. You will basically look like you have indulged in too many frothy beers and office mandazis. For those initial months, your clothes will still fit, they just won’t fit well. Your buttons will start to protest as you close them. Your high-waist pencil skirts will embrace your midsection in ways you wish your man could.
I’m currently at that very frustrating point of pregnancy where I feel like a baby hippo in my regular clothes and yet I am still not big enough to justify maternity clothes. I have recycled the same 4 flowy tops so many times that I’m sure my workmates have made bets as to whether I have become homeless over the past month.
I do not look pregnant. I look like a Teletubby – Shiko Wiko, Dipsy, Lala, Po!
End of rant. Thank you for listening. More updates from Teletubbyland next time.