My morning sickness started almost immediately. At only 6 weeks pregnant, I already felt sick. But before I go on, let me first take a moment to say that whoever coined the term morning sickness should be dragged by the feet to the town square and publicly flogged. It is NOT morning sickness. It is ALL THE TIME sickness. Someone, somewhere irresponsibly coined this term and disseminated the lie that pregnant women are inconvenienced by sickness ONLY in the morning hours but go on to magically recover and have blissful days from 12pm onward. This lie should (at the very least) be punishable by 100 lashes.
Anyway, so my day-long sickness started pretty early in the first trimester. It alternated between an early morning running stomach, afternoon stomach aches, and round the clock flatulence. Sometimes, I even managed to have all three, at the same damn time, yay!
Fortunately though, morning sickness usually goes away around the 12 week mark when you’re just about to enter into the second trimester so I’m happy to report that I’m feeling MUCH better (and fart-free) now.
I am still battling crazy fatigue though. Not only do I fall dead asleep at my work desk during my lunch hour, but I also black out on the couch by 8:30pm after sipping on a hot cup of cocoa LIKE A 97 YEAR OLD. I think this constant tiredness is because my body is trying to grow an entire human being before a 9 month deadline while simultaneously keeping me alive.
The only problem is that this fatigue comes with regular headaches. Apparently, pregnant women are more prone to headaches because of a surge of hormones and increase in blood volume. The headaches usually start in the afternoon and by the time I’m getting home after my evening commute, my head is ready to split into two, which sucks giant balls. And I’m too afraid to take Mara Moja while pregnant because we all know that those pills are laced with bewitched cinders from the core of hell.
So in summary, I was sick and tired for just about the whole of my first trimester. But because we serve a living God, I made a discovery SO monumental that I am stunned that no medical journal has contacted me to publish these findings. I found the cure for my ailments and answer to my prayers in two things: potatoes and chocolate. I always knew that these two things would save my life one day! This “cure” may or may not be attributable to starchy foods helping settle the stomach and low blood sugar sometimes being a cause of headaches, but please don’t get bogged down in the details. What you need to know is that fried potatoes and chocolate are real life MIRACLE DRUGS. Hallelujah? Amen!
(I’m taking bets on how many kilos I’ll have gained by my next doctor’s visit…)