Search!

The last thing I want is for anybody to encounter disappointment when they visit this blog. I have no doubt however, that disappointment is exactly what one particular individual was filled with when he (I’m pretty sure it was a he) conducted a particular web search on Tuesday. Take a look below…

 

Before we get to the obvious problem with the image above, God bless WordPress for providing this very useful service. Look! Two people searched for The Green Calabash. Two whole people! I’m moving on up in the world, I just know it. 

Now, on to the issue at hand: my friend who searched for “Indian women showing breast nipple”. First of all, this guy wanted to see multiple Indian women but was ready to settle for just one breast nipple. Talk about aiming low. I mean, they come in pairs so he might as well have tried for a couple of nipples. In any case, in what context would a group of Indian women be pointing at one nipple? I sure can’t think of any. Then, notice that he was very specific with his search, indicating that he wanted to see a “breast nipple”. Clearly, he was taking NO chances with his search – who knows what other types of nipples might have popped up! So imagine his shock, confusion and subsequent disappointment when he clicked on the link to this blog only to find NO BREAST NIPPLES! And not even ONE Indian woman! How sad he must have been. I can only imagine that he searched hurriedly from post to post hoping to catch a glimpse of just one breast nipple. Alas, we only talk about breasts in the context of lactation here and don’t even have pictures to back up our discussions. (Let alone Indian women to illustrate our points)

I would like to take this opportunity to formally protest my blog’s presence in the aforementioned search results amidst what I’m sure was VERY sordid company. I tried to do a little investigation before posting this entry to see if this blog would indeed pop up using the same search terms but gave up after going through a few pages. This means that our friend is extremely patient as he must have gone through a number of search result pages to finally click on this link. He was either extremely patient or extremely bored. OR extremely desperate to see just one breast nipple shown by a bunch of Indian women.    

PS -> I warned you that this might happen.

0 comment on Search!

  1. Dee Bunque
    October 7, 2010 at 9:45 am (7 years ago)

    Oh Shiko! Now when your visitor types Indian women showing breast nipple, or any combination thereof, your blog will be first and center to show!! haha. by the end of this month you’ll have 4 maybe even 5 visits from multiple-women-single-boob-nipple guy! Good luck with that. Better than some person searching for “old man peeing like pregnant ladies” I guess. 😀

    Reply
    • thegreencalabash
      October 7, 2010 at 11:26 am (7 years ago)

      Ya, I’m pretty sure that I’ve sealed my fate with this post as far as sketchy searches go! My web reputation is DOOMED!

      Reply
  2. Amanda
    October 7, 2010 at 11:52 am (7 years ago)

    aaaahhhahaha!

    Reply
  3. Clare "AfricanQueen" K
    October 7, 2010 at 2:23 pm (7 years ago)

    He’s a sicko!! (definitely has to be a he)

    Reply
  4. archer
    October 7, 2010 at 11:36 pm (7 years ago)

    Couldn’t he just have used Google images? It’d have saved him the frustration! You should see the search terms that lead people to my blog. It makes for a good dose of laughter.

    Reply
    • thegreencalabash
      October 8, 2010 at 9:52 pm (7 years ago)

      This is all new to me so I couldn’t believe it! Ofcourse it will only get worse after this post…oh well.

      Reply
  5. Roberta
    October 8, 2010 at 12:36 am (7 years ago)

    Shiko you are a breath of fresh air! It’s not yet 7am here and I’m already cracking up, thanks.

    Reply
  6. bankelele
    October 8, 2010 at 12:59 am (7 years ago)

    you have little control over what people search for and how they may land on your blog. e.g each year, my blog gets the most hits on two days – when KCPE and KCSE results are announced !(because of a very small post i did in 2005 i think when the exam council started putting results online) On the other hand,the popularity of your stats may help you determine what to write about in future…

    Reply
    • thegreencalabash
      October 8, 2010 at 10:01 pm (7 years ago)

      Oh crap. Then with the number of posts I’ve done on boobs, I’m doomed.

      Reply
  7. Chibi
    October 10, 2010 at 2:50 pm (7 years ago)

    Lol! I might be the one that typed in one of those— the ‘green calabash’ one o (at least I know this is the second or third time I am typing it in google instead of the address bar). Your blog is really interesting.

    Reply
    • thegreencalabash
      October 11, 2010 at 10:59 pm (7 years ago)

      I love you. What else can I say to someone who salvages my self-esteem as well as keeps Google aware of my existence?

      Reply
  8. 3TOC
    October 11, 2010 at 12:11 pm (7 years ago)

    LOL, why have I never been here before? Well now I know how to find it. Type in ……….single nipple! LOL

    Reply
    • thegreencalabash
      October 11, 2010 at 10:56 pm (7 years ago)

      And things have just gone downhill after this post. Today I saw two new search terms: “breast & nipple” and “breast milk coming out of nipple pic”.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *