And I’m not just a housewife, I’m a CRAPPY housewife. I despise cleaning, I love sleeping in and I would rather watch a Real Housewives marathon than do anything constructive around my home. Let me give you a quick run down on how I got to this point in life: I graduated with an MBA just as the economy tanked, spent the next 6 months looking for a job, finally got one, only to get the boot 6 months later when the company went bankrupt. As if my luck wasn’t already questionable at this point, my husband and I found out that I was pregnant right around the time when the company announced that we were all about to get sacked. I mean, I’ve always loved kids and have always dreamed of being a mom but did it have to happen NOW? So, anyway, I tried unsuccessfully to look for a job after the lay off but as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, it became apparent that I wasn’t going to find work before the baby arrived. So here I am, 6 months pregnant and staring down a path that I never prepared myself for – that of domesticity.
Back to why I’m a crappy housewife. Here is a typical weekday in the life of yours truly:
10:30 a.m. – Wake up. (I have nothing important to do for the rest of the day so what’s the rush?)
10:30 – 11:00 a.m. – Rush through my daily hygiene routine and make the bed. (I am extremely proud of myself for religiously making the bed every morning. This is undoubtedly the only housework that I do without complaint.)
11:00 to 11:05 a.m. – Tidy up the house. (And yes, this gets no more than 5 minutes of my time. In my defense however, we live in a small apartment and it’s not my fault that we are tidy people.)
11:05 – 2:00 p.m. – Lazily eat breakfast while watching t.v. and surfing the internet. (I have no excuse for this one. It is simply what I do.)
2:00 – 4:00 p.m. – See above but replace ‘breakfast’ with ‘lunch’.
4:00 – 5:00 p.m. – Tea time. (This is the highlight of my entire day because not only does it give me a chance to indulge in a rich PB & J sandwich but it also marks the end of the ‘work’ day which means that A) I made it through another day and B) my husband will be coming home soon.
5:00 p.m. – Start prepping and cooking dinner. (I may not do much cleaning but I DO cook!)
I’m well aware that my current weekday routine is very lazy and nowhere near what a good housewife (whatever that means) should be doing but here is the thing: I’m 6 months pregnant (!) and in no mood to crawl around the house scrubbing floors. Ok, I know that I could probably do a lot more than I’m currently doing but everyone says that I’ll be SO busy once the baby comes – shouldn’t I be allowed to live out these final 3 months in luxury? No? Well then here is a compromise: Without going overboard (Ha!), I will begin to make changes to my routine with the goal of living a more productive and healthy domestic life.
Starting Monday, August 9th 2010 (you didn’t really think that I would start during the weekend did you?), I hereby pledge to start my journey towards Good Housewife status.