My Boobs Are Blowing Up!

Somebody get Hugh Hefner on the phone because I’m ready for my spread in Playboy! I mean, what else am I supposed to do with these ballooning boobs that I’m growing over here? I think that if Hugh overlooked my bulging belly he would be thrilled to discover that my rapidly growing prenatal breasts have now exploded past the confines of my 34D bra. My boobs are blowing up!

I’ve been in denial about this for a while but have recently begun to feel like the underwire of my bra is digging into my flesh and threatening to embed itself in my rib cage. I have at last conceded: I’m officially at the point in my maternity journey where I need to upgrade to a larger sized bra.

As was the case with my last pregnancy, I expect to go up by at least one cup size, which would make me a 34DD (Mr. Hefner, I’ll be expecting your call any second now…) Now, this need for new bras is a potential financial catastrophe because ridiculously, in Kenya, the larger the boob, the more expensive the bra! What type of cruel and inhumane policy is that?! It’s like a luxury tax! On big boobs!

I refuse to be financially devastated by my boobs. So! Following my policy of not spending any money unnecessarily on maternity gear that I will only wear for a few months, I have decided that rather than buying regular bras for big breasted women (at exorbitant luxury tax prices!), I might as well start wearing nursing bras now. For those who don’t know, nursing/breastfeeding bras are designed to unclip at the front so that both bra cups can be easily pulled down to give breastfeeding babies full access to The Boobage.

Not only do nursing bras come in easy to remember general sizes of S, M, L, XL, etc, they are also priced the same regardless of size (no big breast discrimination!) And since I will definitely need them for at least a year after giving birth, it makes plenty of sense to upgrade to nursing bras once and for all right now. Nursing bras are also perfect for Big Boobed Babes because they are designed to support breasts that are heavy with milk (or just lots of flesh in my case!) They’re also made without underwire which can be uncomfortable when pregnant and interfere with milk production later on.

I’ve started stocking up on nursing bras slowly and my boobs couldn’t be happier! The one below is my favorite so far because it provides ample support (it has thick straps and a thick band at the bottom), gives the perfect amount of coverage and is well padded (very important during these chilly Nairobi mornings!)

 

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This is a Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bra that I got from Parents & Babies World.

 

Looking at the above photo, it has suddenly occurred to me that nursing bras, with their fast unclipping front panels, have one more advantage: they provide speedy access to The Goodies during quickies! You know what? Forget Hugh Hefner, get Mr. Big on the line ASAP!

 

 

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13 Comments on My Boobs Are Blowing Up!

  1. Pepper
    September 21, 2016 at 11:08 am (11 months ago)

    Haha!Hugh Heffner is taking forever to call. 😠. I love your blog. I may never be a mom or pregnant but I feel like I can strike that off my list because I’m going through it with you. Keep regaling us with these tales and entertaining us. 😊

    Reply
  2. Pepper
    September 21, 2016 at 11:09 am (11 months ago)

    Haha!Hugh Heffner is taking forever to call. 😠. I love your blog. I may never be a mom or pregnant but I feel like I can strike that off my list because I’m going through it with you. Keep regaling us with these tales and entertaining us. 😊

    Reply
    • Shiko
      September 21, 2016 at 12:15 pm (11 months ago)

      Thanks for sticking with me Pepper! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Gakii
    September 21, 2016 at 12:13 pm (11 months ago)

    😂😂😂
    I was a 38D before pregnancy so imagine how much luxury tax I pay…

    Reply
    • Shiko
      September 21, 2016 at 12:18 pm (11 months ago)

      Auuwii, I feel you Gakii! One day we’ll have a Big Boobed Babes day of protest

      Reply
  4. Anonymous
    September 21, 2016 at 12:19 pm (11 months ago)

    Always a great pleasure reading your blog Ma’.The lessons here are priceless. I am here silently saying a prayer and hoping Mr.Big answered your call ASAP.
    😂

    Reply
    • Shiko
      September 21, 2016 at 1:20 pm (11 months ago)

      Oh, he will 😂😂😂

      Reply
  5. Janice
    September 21, 2016 at 5:42 pm (11 months ago)

    Loool very funny en informative blog. I feel you on the big boobs vibe en paying luxury tax..i am a 36E so my bra collection can buy a small shamba in mashinani…i aint pregnant but at this rate i might start rocking the nursing bras….*thanks for the tip*:-)

    Reply
    • Anonymous
      February 9, 2017 at 3:16 am (6 months ago)

      @janice where do you buy your bras?

      Reply
  6. bankelele
    September 23, 2016 at 11:16 am (11 months ago)

    Unfortunately Playboy stopped publishing nude pics a few months ago 🙁

    Reply
    • Irene
      May 9, 2017 at 5:38 am (3 months ago)

      Look at you! Lol.your imagination is pregnant

      Reply
  7. Sidi
    September 23, 2016 at 10:03 pm (11 months ago)

    I really love this blog-your so candid about pregnancy and motherhood which is scary yet informative at the same time-keep the posts coming!

    Reply
  8. Dani
    March 22, 2017 at 4:08 pm (5 months ago)

    You’re a good writer Ciku. Please resume writing on this blog!

    Reply

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