Merry Christmas (Single) Mommy!

For me, the worst part about being divorced is the overwhelming guilt of having denied my daughter all the benefits of a two parent household. The guilt is not always with me but around the Christmas holidays, it returns with a mad fury.

You see, in my mind, the picture perfect Christmas begins with two perfectly adorable kids (twins in fact!) bursting into their parents’ bedroom at daybreak and then jumping up and down on a poofy king-size bed squealing in excitement, “Merry Christmas Mommy, Merry Christmas Daddy!

The two perfectly in-love parents instantly wake up, give each other and their twin offspring good morning kisses before the entire perfect family races downstairs to open Christmas presents. Afterwards, they’ll dress up in perfectly matched Christmas outfits and head out for a decadent family lunch at cucu and guka’s.

THAT is what the picture perfect Christmas day looks like in my mind. A two parent, two kid, matching clothes perfection.

My reality is quite different. To start with: no twins here. Nope! My solitary, indestructible ovary soldiered down my Fallopian tube all on its own and remained perfectly intact while awaiting fertilization. Also: Ella and I both like to sleep in so not only will the “Merry Christmas Mommy!” be delivered at a civilized time, there will also be NO jumping on beds, king-size or otherwise (please refer to a cautionary tale regarding some 5 Little Monkeys). Christmas presents will all be hers (from me) and the only things that may match will be our sleepy eyes and pyjamas.

However! Despite my less than “perfect” reality, I am still, as always, madly in love with Christmas! I love everything about my favorite holiday: the jingles, the food, the festive good cheer, the Coca-Cola truck, everything!

So this year, rather than sit back and wonder what my imaginary perfect family (I call them The Perfects) might be doing over Christmas, I want to start a brand new Christmas tradition for my little household!

I haven’t planned everything yet but here’s what I have so far in my Single Mom Christmas Tradition Starter Pack:


  1. Christmas tree, lights, decorations!

I’ll will set aside my horror and buy those skeletal looking fake Christmas trees for Sh 3,000. Then Ella and I will have a blast as we struggle to string up all the lights and decorations. We may both be vertically challenged but we shall overcome!


  1. Handmade Christmas cards!

My art skills leave plenty to be desired and we might just end up with glittery scraps of manila paper but handmade, individualized  Christmas cards shall be made and loved by all!


  1. Festive cookies!

I already found the cutest Christmas themed cookie cutters at House of Leather, now to find an easy recipe to follow so Ella and I can get to baking…


  1. Christmas cookathon!

I just got a new kitchen island made and can’t wait to break it in with a Christmas throwdown! If all goes well (read: If I can fight my laziness) the Christmas lunch menu will include rotisserie style chicken, potato and zucchini bake, beef biryani, vegetable curry and naan bread. Yum!


  1. Party!

Whether they like it or not, I will hunt family and friends down for some Christmas quality time. I’m thinking of starting a tradition where I host a Boxing Day party. Does anyone know how to make Eggnog… or what a mistletoe looks like?


I can’t wait! I’ll be sure to take and post photos of everything!


“Holidays are coming, holidays are coming, holidays are coming…”


19 Comments on Merry Christmas (Single) Mommy!

  1. Grace
    December 8, 2015 at 10:50 am (2 years ago)

    Nice piece there i wish you ,Ella and your folks a merry christmas..
    keep us updated with this nice ideas maybe we can steal and put them in place for our families

    • Shiko
      December 8, 2015 at 11:16 am (2 years ago)

      Merry Christmas to you too Grace! I’ll be sure to post about all the Christmas activities!

  2. josphine
    December 8, 2015 at 12:29 pm (2 years ago)

    Shiko, a great read as always. sure loneliness is knocking but its better to be merry with the little ones, plus if you have sensible and mature single moms around – get together and have all the fun and party. Merry Christmas to you and Ella.

    • Shiko
      December 8, 2015 at 6:55 pm (2 years ago)

      Merry Christmas to you too! (And a definite YES on the party bit!)

  3. Bomi
    December 8, 2015 at 2:10 pm (2 years ago)

    Mwah! Merry Christmas, Shiko & Ella! May God’s joy, love and peace fill your hearts now and always…amen. Love you both! When you talk to Mr. Y, please extend our love and warm wishes to him too. Sounds like this holiday season will be a blast for you girls… Enjoy:)!

    • Shiko
      December 8, 2015 at 6:57 pm (2 years ago)

      Will do, and Merry Christmas to you too Bomi!

  4. Ana
    December 8, 2015 at 4:40 pm (2 years ago)

    a great piece and was seeking advice for a single mom too. Nope for me. Quiet and beach is all I want this x-mas. Hope it works for my little girl too

    • Shiko
      December 8, 2015 at 6:59 pm (2 years ago)

      I’ll be on the beach too for New Year’s! Happy beach time Mama!

  5. Shiku Kahiga
    December 9, 2015 at 9:30 am (2 years ago)

    I have followed this blog for years but this right here i must apply 🙂 So ready to face the holidays like a ninja! Ninja mama and Ninja turtle 🙂 okbye

    • Shiko
      December 9, 2015 at 9:36 am (2 years ago)

      Haaahaha – ninja mama and ninja turtle, I love it! Happy holidays!

  6. Eunny
    December 9, 2015 at 9:32 am (2 years ago)

    merry xmas to you n LO…. me and my toi will have a blast for sure….single or not, motherhood is beautiful.

    • Shiko
      December 9, 2015 at 9:37 am (2 years ago)

      Motherhood IS beautiful! I hope you and your tot have an absolute blast! Merry Christmas!

  7. Samoina (@Samoina)
    December 9, 2015 at 1:29 pm (2 years ago)

    You sure bet I relate to the ‘less than perfection scenario’!! But we make the best of it, don’t we? Me? I am planning to sleep in. Work marathon has me all eye bagged.

    • Shiko
      December 9, 2015 at 5:11 pm (2 years ago)

      A lazy Christmas sounds amazing too! Here’s to a happy, restful Christmas!

  8. Sarah
    December 9, 2015 at 4:23 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m going to disown you! A fake tree?? *WAILS*
    But I love that you’re creating your own traditions. Create your own Purrfects!

    • Shiko
      December 9, 2015 at 5:12 pm (2 years ago)

      LOL! Buying a real tree hadn’t even crossed my mind haahaahaaa. Where do people even find them???

  9. purity
    December 9, 2015 at 5:05 pm (2 years ago)

    just knew to green and my gal dnt have shagz to go to but do i say coast does it for us best time of the year christmas.All single Moms Merry Christmas

    • Shiko
      December 9, 2015 at 5:16 pm (2 years ago)

      Welcome to The Green Calabash Purity! Enjoy your beachy Christmas with your baby girl!

  10. Miss Dee
    December 14, 2015 at 2:29 pm (2 years ago)

    Happy holidays to you and Ella. A toast to new traditions.


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