Is Your Phone PornHub Free?

Don’t ask me how I know this but PornHub has a mobile phone app. That’s OK with me by the way. I won’t judge those who might need porn on the go. You know who I will judge though, and judge severely? Strangers that let my daughter play with their phones knowing full well that they have the PornHub app.


I get it – my kid pulled out all the cute cues when she asked if she could see your phone. She’s hard to say no to and you want to make her happy. This is admirable. However, what you may not know is that children are inexplicable experts when it comes to finding stuff they shouldn’t find on your phone. Do you have nudes in your gallery from your ex-girlfriend? A child will find them. Did you search for “Big Black Women” last week on your PornHub app? They will not only find that but proceed to play the highest ranked videos. On maximum volume.

Be very sure: children will click on anything, open any app and agree to “chat with sexy singles in your area” within seconds of getting their hands on your unlocked phone. That’s why, Dear Adult, if you hand my child your phone you should put a parental lock on it, delete all your porn-y apps and freaking disconnect from the data grid if you have to. Because, Kids. Find. Everything.

The day my daughter got her own tab and I was liberated from having to give her mine to toy with was a glorious one indeed. It’s not that my phone has the PornHub app or boyfriend nudes (keep calm, Mr. Big), but I just don’t need her getting into anything that she shouldn’t, like my Period & Ovulation Tracker for example (Yes, I know Aunt Flo comes every month but I still need an app to remind me. Dammit). Her tab is made especially for kids and is not only indestructible with its thick rubber padding, but also, most definitely, PornHub and Nude-free.


P.S. – It just occurred to me that this post contains exactly the type of adult content not suitable for kids. HA!

P.S.S – If you’d like to learn how to protect kids online so that they don’t chat with sexy singles in your area or scroll through the BBW section of PornHub, please click here

7 Comments on Is Your Phone PornHub Free?

  1. SupremeGREAM
    September 10, 2015 at 4:14 am (2 years ago)

    There is an app to password protect some apps and your gallery or music…. I forget the name. This was hilarious 😂😂

  2. Mocha!
    September 11, 2015 at 2:59 am (2 years ago)

    This was hilarious, but very important to read.

    Don’t I know about the way kids find stuff on phones / tabs. I bought the child friendly one too, but he still tries to get my phone to play with.

    Very smart these kids.

    • Shiko
      September 11, 2015 at 5:02 pm (2 years ago)

      Lol! Isn’t it funny how they STILL ask for our phones even when they have their own tabs?

  3. Modern Mom
    October 3, 2015 at 10:03 am (2 years ago)

    I am very protective of my phone. I also need that Password app.


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