April 27, 2012

Fave Friday!

By greencalabash

And now, a list. Of Ella’s five favorite things:

 

 

 

5. Rain Boots

This past weekend, we bought Ella a pair of pink rain boots. She proceeded to wear them for two days straight. One week later, they are still the only pair of shoes she will agree to wear.

 

 

 

 

4. Shout of The Fresh Beat Band

Shout is a character on a kids’ music show called The Fresh Beat Band. Ella is quite possibly in love with him. One smile from him sends her into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

 

 

 

 

3. Chicken

Ella can eat chicken all day, every day. And she doesn’t discriminate either: baked, grilled, fried, rotisserie …she loves them all. She also hums while she eats (DOES ANYBODY ELSE’S CHILD DO THIS?) and her hums are noticeably louder while eating chicken.

 

 

 

2. Pajamas

Without fail, this child will insist on wearing her pajamas over her clothes. I’ve tried to hide them in out-of-reach drawers but she has since discovered that she can always find at least one set in her laundry basket.

 

 

 

 

1. Binkie

And finally, her ‘binkie’ (aka pacifier). She LOVES it. I know, I know, pacifiers are the devil blah blah blah. I have already come to terms with my failure in respect to pacifier use. Once upon a time, I believed that no child of mine would  ever use a pacifier and yet, here I am, with a child who doesn’t just use the pacifier, she ADORES it.

When she’s feeling sad and sorry for herself she asks for it very sweetly, “Binkie?”  And because I want to break this habit, I usually try to distract her by pointing to some random toy and shouting ‘WOW! Look at your piano!’ (As if that same piano hasn’t been sitting visibly in the same spot all day). This rarely works, so usually her next move is to stand right in front of me, make eye contact and state very seriously and matter of factly, “Binkie.” After a brief stare down, I relent and produce her binkie from my pocket, which is where I keep it,  in the hopes that one day she will completely forget about its existence. So far, this effort has failed miserably.

 

And there you have it, Ella’s favorite things.

Happy Friday!

Posted in Random | 9 Comments
February 29, 2012

Having A Daughter Changes Everything

By greencalabash

A little over a year ago I had a conversation with a friend about his daughter and her hair. She was 3 years old with a thick, healthy, curly afro. On multiple occasions, he had watched her pretending that instead of the curls on her head, she had a long, straight tresses flowing down her back. He was worried that she was beginning to hate her hair…to think of it as not being as beautiful as other types of hair. With great passion, I told him that he needed to nip this in the bud, to constantly tell his little girl that she was perfect and beautiful from top to bottom. I told him that he had to encourage her to love her curls.

A few days later I went to the salon for my routine chemical relaxer and when asked what style I wanted, I told her “The usual. Bone-straight”. Me. Mother of one daughter with a head full of kinks and curls.

And so it bothered me month after month, until 4 months ago, in a spur-of-the-moment decision, I instructed my hairdresser to cut all of my hair off. She was flabbergasted. So flabbergasted infact, that she flat out refused. In the end, we compromised and she agreed to cut all but a few inches. When she was done, I took one look at myself, had a massive panic attack and told her to cover it up with cornrows IMMEDIATELY.

For the first few weeks, I didn’t tell anybody that I had cut my hair. Not even my husband. I was too shocked and confused by my own spontaneity. I still felt strongly about why I did it but was not ready to deal with the reality of it being…well…done. Eventually, I came out of the closet with my news but was still not ready to unveil my natural hair. I was content to continue hiding under the cover of cornrows and braids until a little encouragement from my husband and a couple of curlfriends also on the natural hair journey (@misswretched and @nanciemwai) made me change my mind.

So this is my coming out party.

Before I had a baby, I never thought seriously about going natural. I respected all the ladies that did it but quite honestly, it just never mattered that much to me. And then I had Ella. And she changed everything.

Posted in Motherhood 101, Natural Hair | Comments closed
January 26, 2012

Here’s the thing

By greencalabash

The thing about one year olds is that they are very needy. They needy you to read stories to them, they needy you to stop them from climbing into toilets, they needy you to keep your eyes on them ALL THE TIME! What about when they sleep, you ask? Ella does sleep, doesn’t she? Yes, she does. But when she finally sleeps, all I want to do is collapse on the couch and do nothing but watch the complete and utter foolishness that only the Real Housewives of Atlanta can provide.

I must say, though, that I am quite pleased with how my little girl is coming along. She is determined but not incorrigible, playful but not naughty, affectionate but not clingy…ummm….scratch that last one, she’s clingy. Very clingy. Like, attached to my hip – clingy. I was told to expect some clinginess when she started walking but, hot damn! I never expected THIS level of ‘if you leave me in this church nursery I will holler until all the saints really do come marching in’ clingy. Apparently, separation anxiety is part and parcel of this developmental stage. Oh, joy.

In other news, I recently decided to give up processed, store-bought snacks and breads. I thought that this would lead to dramatic weight loss but I was sorely mistaken. I think I underestimated my body’s need for carbohydrates. In giving up bread, I inadvertently took up an assortment of homemade pastries. I bake and then eat, on average, one large loaf of pumpkin bread per week. If it’s not pumpkin bread, it’s banana bread or lace cookies or some other form of sugary, buttery goodness. But! Rome wasn’t built in a day, was it? No, it was not. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, doesn’t it? Yes, it does. And though I neither plan on building a city nor journeying for a thousand miles, I am bent on taking a bit by bit approach to healthy living.

We’re almost done with the first month of 2012, people! Can you believe it? I can’t. Happy new year! Can I still say that? How is everyone doing? What’s going on?

Posted in Healthy Living, Little Princess, Self Improvement, Weight Watcher | Comments closed
October 30, 2011

[ARCHIVE] Dear Baby

By greencalabash

Holy cow y’all. Ella is turning one on Friday. One! On Friday! Since this is her birthday week and I’m feeling incredibly weepy and sentimental, I decided to dig up a few old posts.

I still remember the day I wrote the post below. I was about 7 months pregnant and bursting with curiosity about what sort of little girl she would be! 

Dear Baby,

Hi. It’s me, your mother. I don’t think we’ve been formerly introduced yet which I think is totally weird, given that you’re inside of me and everything. I won’t take up too much of your time…I just have a few things that I wanted to run by you, if that’s ok?

I’m fully aware that you’re cramped in there. I appreciate the fact that you need to stretch from time to time. But seriously. Is all the kicking really necessary? One kick I can deal with, maybe even two…but the barrage of kicks at 3 o’clock in the morning is getting to be a major problem. And then there’s this thing you recently started doing that feels like you’re tickling or poking me with your fingers. That’s really cute and I’m happy that your fingers are in proper working condition but it feels really, really weird because your hands are directly above a very delicate area of mine (in about 10 years we’ll have a discussion about girl parts. ‘Delicate area’ or some other lame term will have to suffice until I find something else because this woman called Oprah who may or may not be relevant in your time, officially ruined the word Vajayjay for all of us).

The doctor says that you weigh 4 lbs now. Congratulations! I must admit that I was secretly hoping for a ridiculous figure, say, upwards of 10 lbs to account for the 16 lbs that I’ve gained so far. Oh well.

I hear that you take occasional gulps of amniotic fluid (Euuwww) and can taste some of the food I eat. I hope you know that the ONLY reason that I’m currently eating my second strawberry filled donut and drinking hot chocolate at 11 pm is out of my deep, unfailing love for you.  Steamed broccoli would have been my preferred choice. *cough*

That’s all for now. Thanks for listening. You can go back to…to doing whatever you do in there when you’re not attacking my internal organs.

See you soon,

Mommy

PS -> I know that I b*tch a lot about stuff, but in all honesty kiddo, you are TOTALLY worth it. And I mean that.

Posted in Baby, Pregnancy | Comments closed
October 17, 2011

MILFs, Boobies, etc.

By greencalabash

My heart got broken last week when Ella decided that she’s done with breastfeeding. Just like that! Done! My emotions are so jumbled up about it – sometimes I want to burst into tears because a very special stage in her development is over. Other times, I want to run down the street, screaming for joy with a sign that reads MAMA GOT HER BOOBIES BACK! I don’t know. It’s complicated. Complicated for me, not for Ella, she carries on like she couldn’t be happier. *bursts into tears*

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Remember when I talked about looking for a MILF? Well. Good news people. My enthusiasm (read: desperation) has finally paid off. I’ve been invited to join a mommy group (!) and Ella has been invited to not one but THREE birthday bashes this month. We’re getting popular y’all.

 

Posted in Boobies, My Life, Random | Comments closed
September 28, 2011

Scarlett

By greencalabash

There is a two year old girl in our play and learn class called Scarlett. Scarlett is what you would call a spoiled brat free spirit. She stomps around the room snatching toys away from babies, pushing kids off slides, growling at adults and generally terrorizing everybody in sight. All the kids are afraid of her. Shoot, I’m afraid of her.

Instead of reigning in her little hellion bundle of energy, Scarlett’s mom follows her around the room begging, “Don’t you want to be gentle with the little baby, Scarlett?”, “Don’t you want to share,  Scarlett?” Question after useless question she asks while Scarlett continues to wreak havoc all over the place.

The most Scarlett’s mom does in the way of discipline is turn around in a huff and a puff, mutter “That’s it!” and pretend to head off towards her car. She marches away for some distance, and then turns back to see if her performance was enough to make Scarlett chase after her in an overt display of remorse. But Scarlett is smart. She’s seen this ruse before, as have we. So her mom usually turns back around to find Scarlett (and the rest of us) just staring at her, unmoved.

Sometimes she walks back toward the room saying, “Okay, one more chance Scarlett…” as if Scarlett asked for another chance. Other times she’ll remain at the far end of the room and stare angrily at Scarlett, presumably willing her to change her behavior.

No matter what she does, the end result is always the same: Scarlett will pause for a few minutes (just long enough to give her poor mother some hope) and then carry on with her reign of terror.

It is quite the spectacle to watch those two. They play their parts with commendable exubarance. I try not to judge Scarlett’s mom too harshly though, because every kid has a little Scarlett in them – some more than others.

Posted in Motherhood 101 | Comments closed
September 21, 2011

Nervous Me

By greencalabash

I am SUCH a nervous mom. I can’t help it. My heart skips several beats every time Ella is in a potentially dangerous situation. And EVERY situation is potentially dangerous.

I take her to a children’s play area at the mall and I’m literally poised at the edge of my seat the whole time, ready to rescue her from imminent (yes! imminent!) danger. Yesterday at the mall, a couple of grannies who were AT LEAST a hundred years old actually pointed at me, laughed and then told me to relax. Grannies!

Some of the kids that run around those play areas are so much bigger than my little peanut. I’m always afraid that she’ll get trampled on. She on the other hand, is fearless. She loves to be right at the center of the action. THIS, from the same child who was deathly afraid of car seats and vacuum cleaners.

This one time, when a much older boy fell down next to her, she actually squealed and then SPANKED his bottom. Just spanked it! The poor boy was too confused to protest, he just scampered away as fast as he could. Ella smiled very proudly to herself and then carried on playing. I love this kid.

Posted in Little Princess, My Life | Comments closed
September 15, 2011

My Baby’s a Grown Up (Practically)

By greencalabash

The next time around, I would very much like to give birth to a 10 month old. 10 month olds are SO FUN. 2 month olds? Not so much. But 10 month olds? Now, they are awesome. I wish I could keep Ella at this stage of cuteness for just a little longer. I have found myself having mini panic attacks when I think about her looming 1 year birthday. Just the other day we were bringing her home and now she’s all grown up!

Over the past two weeks we’ve had to get her a bigger car seat, lower her crib mattress so she can’t climb out AND (!) start baby proofing the house because SHE’S CRAWLING. What’s next? College?! *wails*

(I bet these parents feel the same way):

Posted in Little Princess | Comments closed
September 8, 2011

Contagion

By greencalabash

The fastest way to get drop-kicked by a mom is to bring your sick child around her perfectly healthy one. The slightest cough, sniffle or sneeze will get you ostracized by the playgroup in an instant. Which is why when one mom at Ella’s play and learn class casually mentioned that her baby had a DOUBLE EAR INFECTION, I just about fainted. You could see all the moms (myself included!) quickly grab their babies and slowly back away from Patient Zero.

Unfortunately, Ella didn’t get the memo. I turned my attention away from her for just a second, only to turn back and find her sticking her fingers inside Patient Zero’s mouth! I sprinted across the room, possibly screaming, and pulled my baby safely away from contagion.

Thankfully the class ended soon after and I was able to dash home and Google ‘my baby has an EAR INFECTION!’ (Caps and exclamation mark included), only to find that ear infections are NOT contagious. Phew.

Posted in Motherhood 101 | Comments closed
September 1, 2011

The internet is a scary place

By greencalabash

The internet is a scary place. Here are some of the search terms used to find this blog recently. Please note the third item on the list.

WHY? Please, somebody tell me, WHY? I mean, I understand why the internet was the only place that this very disturbed soul could explore this…ummm… interest but surely, SURELY, there are limits! Cow udder fetish? We need to re-assess where we’re headed as a species.

Sigh. Deep breath.

On a COMPLETLEY unrelated note, I guest blogged over at African Woman Magazine, feel free to check it out here.

Posted in Guest Blog, Search! | Comments closed
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